What becomes of the broken hearted?
by CaroH
Summary: A tag to Dark Side of the Moon


This is a tag to Dark Side of the Moon. It follows on directly from the end of the episode. Lots of angst, emotionally hurt Dean and angry Sam.

**What becomes of the broken-hearted?**

Dean hadn't even made it as far as the Impala. He was just standing in the parking lot, head bowed and shoulders slumped.

"So that's it?" Sam asked. "You're going to let the world go to hell because your feelings are hurt?"

"Get in the car." Dean didn't turn around, or show any reaction. All he did was walk slowly to the back of the car and load his bag into the trunk.

"No." Sam stood his ground. "I've had enough of you feeling sorry for yourself. We're going to sort this out before we go any further."

"What do you want to sort out, Sam? The fact that you started the Apocalypse? Or the fact that you've spent your whole life trying to get away from me?" Dean's tone was flat and, now that he was finally looking at Sam, his eyes were dull.

"Do you really want to discuss this out here?" Sam asked, appalled by his brother's lack of emotion. He was afraid that Dean was ready to give up. Everything that had happened in heaven had conspired to crush Dean's spirit.

"There's nothing to discuss. I get it that all your good memories don't have your family in them. It's old news."

"Let's go back inside," Sam said.

The car door creaked when Dean opened it. "Fuck you, Sam. I'm leaving and I don't give a damn whether you come with me or not."

Sam covered the distance between them, grabbing Dean's arm before his brother could get into the car. "We're going to talk."

"Let go," Dean said. "I'm just pissed enough to enjoy kicking the shit out of you."

"That worked out well for you last time you tried." Sam kept tight hold of his brother, watching warily for any sign that Dean was about to make good on his threat. "We are fresh out of options and..."

"No, we're not. You can get the hell out of my life and I can say 'yes' to Michael."

"You selfish son of a bitch," Sam said, releasing his hold.

"You've got some nerve saying that to me. I spent my life looking out for you," Dean replied, a tinge of color appearing on his cheeks. "I went to hell for you."

"You didn't go to hell for me. I didn't ask you to make a deal to bring me back. It was all for you, because you couldn't carry on by yourself. You never stopped to think what it would be like for anyone else when your deal came due." The words were designed to hurt…to make Dean angry enough to carry on fighting.

"Those four months without me didn't sound that bad. Sex, drugs and rock n roll. I'd say I did you a favour. I bet it was just like all those other times you ditched me and Dad."

"You just don't get it, do you?" Sam said. "You're so used to being a martyr that you can't see what a fucked-up family we really are. I was raised to believe that mom and dad had this perfect marriage and you know that was a lie. Their whole relationship was a lie."

"Shut up."

"Not until you hear me out. Mom was a hunter who made a deal with a demon. Then she spent ten years trying to pretend her life was normal. That was as useless as Dad deciding not to tell Adam the truth. Ignoring the bad things that are out there only gets people killed. Giving up gets a lot more people killed."

"You're the one who kept running away."

"I know. I made the same mistake Mom made. I thought I could have a normal life and Jess died. You're the only one who didn't give up on the idea of family."

"Just shows how stupid I really am." Dean turned back to the car.

"All those times I ran away, even when I went to Stanford, I always knew you would be there if I needed you. You were the one person in my life who never let me down. It was you who gave me the strength to leave. I wanted you to be proud of me."

"I was."

Sam barely heard the whispered admission. "Look, Dean, I know you're tired and that you've lost faith in me. I get that. You've done everything you can and it doesn't feel like enough. But, there's still one thing left. You need to help me be strong enough to keep saying 'no' to Lucifer."

"I thought you'd just finished telling me how weak and pathetic I am." There was anger now in Dean's voice.

Sam's hesitation lasted a heartbeat too long. An expression of disgust settled on Dean's face.

"Looks like I'm still not good enough for you, just like I was never good enough for Dad."

"What do you want me to say?" Sam asked. "It's not your fault that Dad screwed up our lives. You're the only one who tried to give me a normal childhood, but it was never going to work. I was never running away from you. I was running toward a life that didn't exist. I was wrong."

"You were smart. The only trouble is you didn't run far enough. D'you want to know what's funny? Forty years in hell wasn't as painful as seeing your idea of heaven."

"You don't mean that." Sam stared at his brother in horror.

The anger that had been building up in Dean visibly drained away as if it was too much effort for him to maintain it. The tension in his body eased and the heat went out of his voice. "You know what? You're right. It's been a crappy day and I just want to get on the road."

"Dean…."

"No, Sam. I'm done discussing this so you can either get in the car or I'm leaving without you."

Sam knew when he was beaten and couldn't risk Dean taking off alone. "Give me a minute to get my things." He walked back into the motel room. The stench of death and alcohol made him sick to his stomach, but he wasn't going to give up. Somehow he had to find a way to persuade Dean to keeping fighting.

The End

Caroline

September, 2010


End file.
